This story would be funny if it wasn’t absolutely true.
So it jsut so happens that my new roommate is being evicted from our apartment. The conviction behind the eviction is the Sal (not my roommates real name) starts fires in the apartment and is a hazard to the entire building. Of course Sal says the reason that the landlord is trying to evict him is because the apartment is under rent control and the rent is substantially lower than market value. Both angles are rather believable.
So as I return home from work this evening, rather late, I smell gas as I enter the apartment. I immediately yell out “Sal” because he smokes in the apartment, and I would prefer not to die in an explosion tonight. I look into the kitchen and see the oven door open.
I yell to Sal again. He comes around the corner of the apartment looking like I just disturbed him from an exciting game of mindsweeper. He asks whats up.
I point to the oven which is on, open and unattended and I want to know what is going on. Sal tells that he was cold so he is trying to heat the apartment. I tell him that he is seriously insane and I make a mental note to look for a new apartment on CL.
As I’m unlocking my room I ask Sal if he knows what else will warm him up besides leaving the oven open. He suggests an electric heater?
“No Sal, pants”